Abby Brown Interview
Doug Burke:
Based upon her compelling live performances and the success of her debut EP, Gypsy Soul, Abby Brown was signed to the Pure Music Nashville label. Abby began performing live at the age of seven and has sung the national anthem for Major League Baseball games at Fenway Park in Boston and Coors Field in Denver. She began piano at six and guitar at 10 years old, and driven to be a singer/songwriter, she studied at the College of Music and Performing Arts at Belmont University in Nashville. Abby sits down with Back Story Song to share her story and some of her new musical releases.
Welcome back to Back Story Song. I'm Doug Burke, your host, and we're here with Abby Brown, a songwriter who's got two EPs out on your label. What's your label, Abby?
Abby Brown:
It's Pure Music Nashville. Thank you, Doug, for having me.
Doug Burke:
The title of your two EPs are?
Abby Brown:
Heart on Fire is the latest EP I released in October of 2019. The year before that, I released Gypsy Soul. That was my very first.
Doug Burke:
I noticed on Spotify, Gypsy Soul is your most popular song, and so why don't we start by talking about that song?
Abby Brown:
Ooh, yeah, it's one of my favorites. Yeah. I mean, this song... so on my label, it's co-owned by Luke Bulla. He's also an artist on the label. He's a super crazy talented fiddle player. He actually released a solo album on the label, and he's just been performing in the biz his whole life. So it was really cool to collaborate with him, but what actually happened was... It was January of 2018. So I just signed with the label, and they flew me out to Nashville. Of course, I got sick right before I went there, which always seems to happen, but the purpose of the trip was to try and co-write with Luke. He actually had just gotten over the flu. So neither of us honestly could sing. I lost my voice, and he didn't have a voice. He was just starting to recover. So it was a funny, interesting co-writing session. It wasn't what we were anticipating or expecting, but I went there with just this idea in my head of Gypsy Soul. I didn't really know where I wanted to take it. I thought, "Gypsy Soul, like that is a cool song title. It's even a cool EP title." I was just drawn to that. I'm a yogi, and I love traveling and all that kind of stuff. So that resonated with me. I know there's another gypsy connotation, but the Gypsy Soul that I imagined was like the free spirit, the not being afraid to take chances, and move forward. Luke pulled out his guitar and just played the most beautiful melody on his guitar in DADGAD tuning, and I just sat there. I was like, "Okay. I can already feel it. Like this is going to be the coolest song." We wrote a few lines. Really not much, but we had a few lines that we could barely sing on a voice memo. I was living in Seattle at the time, and so it was definitely hard to co-write. But I went back home, and we just passed voice memos back and forth, and notes. There was one version I loved, and I was like, "Oh, yeah, like this is so cool," and he sent back. He's like, "Yeah," but he just totally picked it apart. I'm so glad he did because that's part of the process. You start to fall in love with the different versions of your songs, but I think when you get to the point of like you know like, "This is it," that's what happened. It took a while. It took a few months. But once it was done, both of us and my label, we all felt really excited about the song. It wasn't until it was finished that I realized that the song was about my mom. I love my mom. We're super, super close, and she's always been there for me. I just think of her as my best friend. It was cool to realize after the fact, but in the back of my mind the whole time, I was like, "This song is about the woman that I hope to be one day," because it's still not easy to let things go, and to move on, and not hold anger or hurt inside your heart. My mom obviously overcame it. It's hard to move forward past everything, but she's done such a beautiful job and such an inspiration to me, so the line, "Like a wildflower grows, gypsy soul." I've moved around a lot, so that tied in to it as well. It doesn't really matter where you are. If you can ground yourself in the situations that you're given, I think it just makes you a more wholesome and better person, a more adaptable person. So that's where it all came back around to be.
Doug Burke:
Wow. I thought it was autobiographical, but it's even better that it's about your mom. It's a love poem to your mom. That's just a beautiful thing. She is a gypsy soul, your mother?
Abby Brown:
Yeah. I mean, not in like the true sense of... I wouldn't call her like a gypsy or whatever, but she has been able to totally just transform her life and be open to change. It's inspiring. She inspires so many people around her, and she's just able to let go and have an open heart. I think that to me says a lot.
Doug Burke:
I really like the chorus, "With an honest heart held strong." You usually think of a head held strong and high, but you've got a heart being held.
Abby Brown:
Thank you. Sometimes I don't really know where I get stuff from, but... Yeah, that line. I guess having an honest heart. If you can lead with an honest heart in your life, I think that's really, really powerful. I'm learning that right now. I'm going through a lot of life lessons, and that's one thing that has really stood out to me is just having an honest heart.
Doug Burke:
I routinely ask about ooh-oohs, ah-ahs, woo-woos in songs with songwriters and the first verse with the ooh-ooh line. I always have thought like how does that come to you? Does it like... You're writing the song. It's like you ran out of words, you just sing or just... What happened there in that song?
Abby Brown:
I think that was Luke's idea, like he... or maybe it was when we were... I don't know about you with your songwriting, but a lot of times, I won't think of words first. I'll just hum a melody and put words to it. I want to say like that was just - when we're brainstorming, and we just kept it in like, "Ooh, it's kind of cool."
Doug Burke:
Yeah, it really is.
Abby Brown:
Thank you.
Doug Burke:
The guitar break or the guitar interlude after the chorus is really cool. Who did that? How did that go down? How did that get recorded?
Abby Brown:
J. D. Simo. He is a really phenomenal Nashville guitarist. Blues and rock. I have never met him before. I went into the studio. We had three days, and so all the musicians came in whenever we needed them, but J. D. Was there first with the drummer, bassist. I think that was it. Actually, it was a pretty small group, but he just cranked it out. It was so cool to watch. It was the first time that I was truly in a Nashville studio and around these crazy talented musicians. I was wide-eyed. I was like, "Oh my god, he just pulled that out of him. Who knows where... and like it sounds amazing." It's really cool.
Doug Burke:
It's some sort of fuzz sound or some... It reminded me of David Lindley and Jackson Browne. I don't know if you feel Jackson-Browne-inspired on this song or...
Abby Brown:
I mean, not specifically, but his setup, like we just let him run with it. We're like, "J. D., what are you feeling?" When he played that, we're like, "You know, that's really cool." Probably, just a little distortion is what you're hearing. I don't know, but it was very cool to watch. That's for sure.
Doug Burke:
What recording studio were you in? I mean, this must have been really memorable for you, your first independent label recording studio experience. Where was it?
Abby Brown:
The first one to record Gypsy Soul, that EP, it was at White Rock Studios just outside of Nashville. It was actually a home studio of this phenomenal bass player. It's his studio, and he was the creative director per se, David Santos. It's cool. Everyone did a lot of multiple things on the EP. So David Santos was the creative director and played bass on one of my songs. My executive producer, label owner, John Heithaus, he played the bass, but he was also a producer. Then, the engineer was also the drummer, Pete Young. So it was cool, and just to see everyone has so much talent. We were all just sitting there, listening to everything. I was so impressed and honestly, surprised that it sounded so good. It just makes you realize like you don't need to go to Music Row. Although, we did the second EP. But the sound that comes out of White Rock Studios, it was just phenomenal, and I was so impressed.
Doug Burke:
So the first time you played this for your mother, did you tell her it was about her?
Abby Brown:
I think I told her after it was recorded, and I wrote it in my note to whoever buys my physical CD. But yeah, she cried.
Doug Burke:
Do you make her cry with your songs a lot or?
Abby Brown:
It depends. I feel like I make myself cry probably more than I make her cry. I'd say it's like 30% of the time, depending on her mood.
Doug Burke:
The third final verse, "She's patient like her mother." I guess that's your grandmother?
Abby Brown:
Mm-hmm. Thankfully, she's still alive. She's just a bubbly, wonderful woman, but she's been through a lot. It's really cool to see someone who's patient and loving still after going through life. She's 86 I think or 85. So being patient, like that is something that... I'm still not patient, and I feel like it's a learned thing, like the older you get, the wiser you get, but the more patient too, so.
Doug Burke:
Not always, but let's hope so.
Abby Brown:
Yeah.
Doug Burke:
You have female backers on this.
Abby Brown:
Yeah, so Wendy Moten. She is unreal. I seriously am just blown away by her. She's also a solo musician, but she's toured with Faith Hill and Vince Gill, and just... in singing vocals. Actually, I didn't get to meet her in person unfortunately, but maybe... She was out of town on tour somewhere, and so she came back and John sent a few of the songs she did. I did a cover of Homeward Bound as well on that EP. So she did some awesome harmonies on that, and then I did some harmonies on Gypsy Soul. But having her vocals in the background just like... The difference between the two is like wow, but yeah, Wendy Moten. Check her out. She's the real deal.
Doug Burke:
Yeah, it's really nice, the way the combination of female voices come together on that. I can understand why it's your most listened to song on Spotify. The second most listened to song on Spotify is Every Day of My Life, which is just a beautiful love song.
Abby Brown:
Thank you.
Doug Burke:
I think people underestimate how hard it is to write a love song. Tell me about this.
Abby Brown:
Oh my god, it's so hard. I feel like that's like a happy love song. That's the correction.
Doug Burke:
It's easy to write breakup songs, right? Breakup love songs, or cheating love songs, or sad love songs, those are easy, huh?
Abby Brown:
Oh, it's so easy to write breakup songs and sad songs. It's the happy ones for some reason. I really couldn't tell you. Maybe I'm just a cynical person. I don't know, but I feel like I'm an optimistic person. For me, songwriting is really heartfelt. Sure, like any songwriter, I try and think like, "Oh, could this be on the radio?" I get that in my head, and of course, I embellish things like any songwriter, but it starts, first, from the heart. It's a feeling, and I just go from there. So I was dating the same guy from college. We met freshman year at Belmont University Nashville, and we clicked. We spent seven and a half years together, which is a long time. We grew a lot, but I wrote that song... Gosh, it must have been four years ago now. I liked it, but I didn't love it, and I would never play it. That's my test. It's like if I feel confident enough to play it out and I feel like the crowd is vibing with it, then I'm like, "Okay. That's pretty much done. It's there." But I never really like... I never wanted to play this song. It's because I didn't love the melody of it, and so last summer, literally two weeks before I was going to record my second EP, I was still trying to figure out what songs to do. I sat down with this one, and I was like, "Okay. I'm feeling this. Let's just get this totally like it needs a facelift. I like the message. I like a lot of the lyrics, but the melody needs to be totally different." So I changed it up completely, and then I fell in love with it. It was cool to see that transform. It's the happiest love song I've ever written, and I was grateful to feel that love and experience that, especially at such a young age, so.
Doug Burke:
That's interesting. So you had broken up with this young man?
Abby Brown:
Well, we were still together last year. Yeah, it wasn't super fresh.
Doug Burke:
Oh, okay. So at the time, you're still in love with the guy? I really like the call and response of the chorus.
Abby Brown:
Thanks. So that was a new addition. That was something that when I was messing around with it, I said, "Oh, this is cool. Let's just do a little call," and it worked. It's fun. It makes you want to dance and just be free. I think that's what it feels like to truly be in love and to feel that for someone else is you feel free.
Doug Burke:
How does the audience react when you play this? Do they dance with it?
Abby Brown:
Yeah. I mean, I've only been able to play this with a full band a few times. So usually, it's just me, and an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar. They sway. My music is definitely more mellow. It's not the kind of music that you're going to go dance to, but I like to see people moving in their seats.
Doug Burke:
Well, I can imagine a song like this that couples in the audience might start holding hands or looking at each other.
Abby Brown:
Yeah. I would hope so. I would hope so. That's the goal.
Doug Burke:
I guess you haven't played it enough to see that, but I bet you do. I truly mean this. I think it's really hard to write a love song. Like you say, a beautiful, happy love song. It just seems so easy, and it's just... I challenge the audience to try to write one.
Abby Brown:
I think the challenge is writing a non-cheesy love song. The happy love songs, you have to tow this line of cheesy, unrealistic or realistic, and maybe it's a little sad, or I don't know. Is it even real?
Doug Burke:
It's hard not to sound like a cliché or corny. It's hard to be original and to say, "I love you," in an original way. I think you did it here, "I'll keep loving you with the space," and then, "Every day of my life," at the end of the chorus.
Abby Brown:
Thank you. I still think it's a little cheesy at some parts. I'm like, "Ugh, what? Should I've changed that?" But at the same time, it's like, "You know, all happy love songs are going to have a little bit of cheesiness." But I think the overall message is relatable, and real, and raw, and vulnerable. I think that's what it takes to have a solid, happy love song.
Doug Burke:
I like how you did introduce. Was it a Hammond organ?
Abby Brown:
Yes.
Doug Burke:
It's subtle, and then it grows in the song?
Abby Brown:
Yeah. So Brother Paul Brown. He comes in with his keys, and his synth pad, and all this stuff. I was just like, "Wow. Okay. That's cool. We have a Hammond B3 organ." I was a little skeptical because I'm 26 years old. To me, the organ, I'm like, "Oh, that's like older-sounding, like older-country. I'm trying to be more modern." Then, John, he was like, "No, I promise you. This is in almost every single song. It adds a lot of character, and just like underneath, it builds everything." I was like, "Okay." He just is a free spirit, which is very cool to see. He was just groovin. I truly was skeptical of both EPs. I was like, "Oh, the organ. I don't want it to overpower anything," but the song would feel naked without it. It's crazy how much it adds depth to a song when you add that in the background.
Doug Burke:
It's not overwhelming, and it builds. It comes in soft, and then it increases. I really love... At the end of the bridge, you chuckle. Why?
Abby Brown:
Because I'm always laughing, and I actually laughed when I was recording. I'm trying to remember why I was laughing. I think I was just feeling awkward. I messed up something, and Preston, the engineer, we were at... Zac Brown, their studio, Southern Ground. So Preston, he's the engineer there in one of the studios. I didn't know him well, but he knew that that was me. I giggle, and I laugh. It's a lighthearted song. At first, I was like, "Uh, I don't think I want that in there. That sounds weird." But it adds character, and I think... I don't know. It's nice to have that break in the song. Yeah.
Doug Burke:
Really, it's cute.
Abby Brown:
Thank you.
Doug Burke:
It belongs in a love song. It's sincerely good. So you talked about how you knew this song was done, and that's a question I've asked other songwriters is like, when do you know that a song is done?
Abby Brown:
Sometimes, I'm sure you know, you'll just sit down and write a whole song in one sitting. Maybe it's an hour. You're like, "Wow, I just wrote that whole thing and I feel like it's done?" There are times where I feel like, "Okay. I wrote that song. It's done." Especially my sister and I, we started writing together when I was 11, and so she was eight or nine. Something like that. The two of us, there were moments where we would just sit down and write a song. Of course, a breakup song in high school and stuff. We were like, "Oh, yeah. This is done. Cool." Then, we'd go out and play it. But now, I think I haven't been writing as much with other people. So I think that is harder, like when you can't validate it with another songwriter that you're working on it with. It's harder to know when it's done in a strange way, but... I don't know. I feel like when I feel confident in it, that's when it's done. There's always going to be something you want to change, and that's like... You can't be a perfectionist, especially in this kind of stuff. It's a song, and it's imperfect in the most perfect way. It's always going to be.
Doug Burke:
So when did you start songwriting, and why did you start songwriting? You and your sister were 8 and 11 years old. That's pretty remarkable.
Abby Brown:
Yeah, something like that. Maybe 10. I started playing guitar at 10. I have two younger sisters and a twin brother. He always gets left out, but he didn't get the music gene. He got the business gene. That's what I like to say, but my two younger sisters and I, we first started singing when I was... I mean, I've been singing my whole life, and I'm actually severely deaf in one of my ears. So I got that tested when I was younger, and my mom was like, "Wow, but she sings." For her, and she also talked with me about that, this is a gift. A lot of people who have hearing loss can't sing, like they can't hear that, and so I always knew. I had a hearing aid when I was six, and so I knew I had hearing loss, but it didn't affect my music. I felt it. So that stuck with me, and I think that inspired me to pick up the guitar because I was playing piano, and I was... Eh, it was fine. I was playing classical music that I didn't love. I was 10. So finally, my mom was like, "Okay. When you turn," I think it was 10 or 11, "then you can play the guitar." So right before that, we were at... my two sisters and I. Well, first, I was asked to sing at this fundraiser, this Little League fundraiser in Boston. My two sisters who were both younger, they got really jealous because they asked me to sing the national anthem there. My mom was like, "Okay. Well, I can teach you how to sing harmonies and stuff. If you guys learn, then you can all sing together." So we did, and we also sang another song, a Dixie Chicks song. That was the start of it. We pretended to play our instruments and sang to a karaoke track of Landslide that would just forever going to be one of my favorite songs of all time. It's truly just such a beautiful song.
Doug Burke:
It really is.
Abby Brown:
Yeah, and it makes me cry all the time. When I'm sentimental, I'm playing them like, "Ugh, I'm growing up so fast, it's sad." But those are the greatest songs in my opinion. From there, I know that was a long-winded answer, but that propelled us into wanting to, one, play in public, which we loved, and learn instruments. Then, from there, we just started writing. I'm a creative person and both of my sisters are, but my middle sister, Sarah, and I, we really started writing just... Our first song I think was called Down by the Seashore. We laugh at it now, but it wasn't bad for being 10, 8, or 11 and 9, whatever age you were. But I just remember feeling so excited and exhilarated when we created something. I think from a young age, I didn't fully understand what that totally meant, but it was such a high, like it was a rush, and I couldn't explain it. Now, as a songwriter and a performer, I totally understand why we got so excited and so into song writing.
Doug Burke:
Interesting. I think a lot of songwriters try to do covers and realize that's hard, and if they just do their own thing, it doesn't have to sound like anything else. It has to sound like what they want it to sound like. It sounds like them.
Abby Brown:
Yeah. I've never actually heard anyone say that, but that makes total sense. I love doing both.
Doug Burke:
You like doing both? You like doing covers? Okay.
Abby Brown:
Yeah, yeah. I like making them my own.
Doug Burke:
Oh, okay.
Abby Brown:
Or blending versions like Landslide, Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, and the Dixie Chicks. I feel like my version is totally a blend between the two because I have influences from both, so.
Doug Burke:
So let's talk about breakup songs. You wrote Perfect Vision with Trevor Krehel? He's from Seattle?
Abby Brown:
He's from Michigan, but yeah, we lived in Seattle together for three and a half years right out of college. It's been a hard few years in a relationship. As I'm sure a lot of listeners understand, you understand that you grow a lot, especially during college, and just out of college, and getting into the real world. We're both so grateful that we could grow together, but there comes a point sometimes where you do have to realize like, "Is this working? Why isn't it?" So we wrote Perfect Vision this past October. We were dealing with stuff and trying to hold our relationship up as much as we could because we truly love each other. So it was a cathartic thing to just sit down and write together about... because we broke up for a short amount of time, and then realized like, "Wow, so much for my perfect vision, like I wanted us to have that perfect vision." So that song, we wrote it one sitting, and we were in this cool little cabin up in Seattle. It just had this cool feel. It was rainy outside, and he started playing some cool melody on the guitar, and I started humming along. There we go. We have this great start, and then the lyrics just came right out. I haven't released it yet, but the two of us are working on recording it still, which is I think a true testament to our friendship if anything else to be able to work on a song that is now even more relatable for both of us than ever. I'm excited to put it out there. It's a vulnerable song. You think that you have this idea of what your life will look like and who that will be with. Things happen, and people make mistakes, and people change. That can completely change your vision and your future that you thought you had. I think that's one of the hardest things to overcome when you break up with someone is what does your life look like now? Everything I was envisioning in the future is no longer what my future will look like. So that's the inspiration behind that song.
Doug Burke:
Wow, it's fascinating that two people that were together for so long can actually be friends so soon after and work on their breakup song together.
Abby Brown:
Yeah. I know we're trying. It's hard though. It's not easy, so.
Doug Burke:
I can imagine.
Abby Brown:
Yeah.
Doug Burke:
There's really no such thing as perfect hearing or perfect vision. Yeah. They have this thing of 20/20 vision. But then, you meet someone who's 20/15 or 20/10, which is better than perfect, which is like, "How could you be that?"
Abby Brown:
They're lucky.
Doug Burke:
But there really isn't perfect vision. Life is imperfect. We're all imperfect, and so...
Abby Brown:
Yeah. No, I totally agree.
Doug Burke:
I like the double entendre.
Abby Brown:
Thanks. I mean, I think going on that realm of life isn't perfect, it's not. But I think one thing that I've learned about myself and just life in general, and it's a little bit dark, but I think we create expectations in our mind that we really want to achieve so badly, and that is our ideal vision of perfect. I think that when we have unrealistic expectations, you're going to be disappointed. That's one thing I'm learning right now. It's like you can't have unrealistic expectations. It's just life is not perfect. As much as you want it to be and as much as that vision in your mind is perfect to you, it's not always going to be.
Doug Burke:
That's so true, and the hardest part of that I think is that we should all have a vision, a dream, a view of what the future can be, should be, how it could be better. That vision that we hold can be perfect at moments, and yet, you're never going to perfectly get exactly to what you dreamed. It's going to be something different no matter what. It's like life doesn't work out as planned. God laughs at people who make plans.
Abby Brown:
Yeah. Totally. I could not agree more.
Doug Burke:
So this is not out yet, and when do we anticipate this coming out?
Abby Brown:
Honestly, no idea, but hopefully soon.
Doug Burke:
Okay.
Abby Brown:
Yeah. We're working on drums and guitar parts right now. Just redoing a few things, so I would hope in the next few months. That's the goal.
Doug Burke:
So your third most popular song on Spotify is Love, Release Me, which I have to tell you, in the aftermath of the George Floyd murder, this song resonated with me in a different way than you probably intended it to. I don't know if you've even given that a moment's thought, but we're doing this interview the week after George Floyd was suffocated by a policeman. The lyrics just talked to me in that way about this episode.
Abby Brown:
Well, that's super interesting. I haven't thought of it that way, but that's the beauty of music, right? It's being able to listen to lyrics and completely relate it to whatever is going on in your life right in that moment.
Doug Burke:
But tell me what was going in your head in your moment because it's not me and my interpretation of your music. That's not what Back Story Song is about. I didn't mean to start us off on the wrong foot on Love, Release Me because what is this about?
Abby Brown:
The overall theme of this song is feeling in love and loving someone so much, but knowing that maybe they're not right for you, or something is wrong, but you can't let go of it. Personally, I was in a relationship for seven and a half years from freshman year of college until just recently, and that, for me, it was really, really hard because I'm so in love with him. But there were things that I was struggling with internally. I didn't know if he loved me as much as I loved him. The things that go through your mind, you're like... It just suffocates you. You feel like you want to just not love him anymore or love them anymore and just love. I have Love, Release Me because it's double-meaning like, "Love, release me," and, "Love, you the person that I'm in love with, please release me. You have to let me go." Yeah. It's a sad song, and I've related to it again right now. But I wrote it in a time where we were going through a big down in our relationship, which every relationship has highs and lows. This is just a really hard one for me. I wanted to feel the love that I had for him, but I wasn't feeling that, and so I was begging him to just let me go. Yeah, that's the backstory behind how that transformed. I actually forgot I even wrote it until figuring out songs for the second EP. That was just interesting, bringing it back up, and there was still... We're in a midst of another low, and so it was... It's been a few years of just up and down for me personally in my relationship. So I think that reflects in that song specifically. So yeah, it's a hard one to sing sometimes. Yeah. Just like any songwriter, I think you have these emotions tied to everything you write, and that one is an emotional one for sure. It's not easy, but that is life. I think it is relatable in the sense that when you love someone so much, but you don't know if they're right for you or if something is missing, but you don't know how to say goodbye, and it's a lot. You want them to be the one to do the hard work to let you go because I'm not strong enough to. That's the underlying thing there.
Doug Burke:
Yeah. It's interesting because the song is better when you pour that emotion into the recording. Tell me about that. Did you cry, like you...
Abby Brown:
Actually, I didn't cry when I was singing it in the studio. But then, when they played it back... Actually, it was the next day. We had the National Symphony, three phenomenal musicians from the National Symphony come in and play some strings on the song. It was then in that moment. I was sitting in the vocal booth listening to them. I sat down, and I was just listening. That's when tears started to fall. I was like, "Wow, like this..." Something about the strings, man. That is just... It's powerful. Literally, it's like your heartstrings. Somehow, there's that connection there. That's when I really... I was like, "Wow. Okay. This is powerful."
Doug Burke:
Yeah, the outro is violin.
Doug Burke:
This is not fiddle. This is decidedly not Nashville fiddle players. This is decidedly a string arrangement for the outro.
Abby Brown:
Yes, and Maria Conti, she arranged it and did just a beautiful job. I'm really grateful for the composition that she put together.
Doug Burke:
So I guess we don't get to see that, or do you have that on a foot pedal that you get to play when you play it live?
Abby Brown:
No, unfortunately. I should. That's a good idea. So on the EP, I did an acoustic version of it as well, just me and my guitar. It was recorded after I recorded the other songs. I went in, and I think I did three takes. I played the guitar and sang at the same time. It was raw. It was emotional. They're like, "Alright. This is it. Cool." Yeah. I think that one is definitely... It's very stripped down obviously, but that's what it's like when I perform places. It's just me and my guitar. I like to bring in the emotion because that's what music does for me. It's emotional.
Doug Burke:
It's the second stanza that actually just struck me in this moment of us trying to deal with injustice in America. It says, "I've tried everything, and your silence still screams," which I love. "I've tried everything, and your silence still screams. It's so loud that it hurts, and I forgot how to breathe."
Abby Brown:
Oh, wow. Yeah. I forgot even, like you saying those lyrics now, it's like wow. That is super prevalent to what's going on right now.
Doug Burke:
It is completely what is going... It's describing what everybody is trying to deal with in that video.
Abby Brown:
Yeah. Wow.
Doug Burke:
I was like, "Ugh." Actually, almost makes me cry.
Abby Brown:
Well, I'm flattered, but I also am sorry. It's a hard time right now, and it's really sad. To your point, silence, like that... Your silence right now especially is killing people. That is what we're trying to change right now. In regards to when I wrote it, it was more not knowing where they're at. Your silence, it truly left a mark on me personally just in my heart. Not being able to fully understand like, "What do you feel? Don't leave me hanging. I need to hang on to something."
Doug Burke:
I think songs that touch an emotional chord like this are necessary for us to recover, right, like crying to a great song. I think if you make the audience cry, you've done a fantastic job.
Abby Brown:
Well, I've definitely made some people cry. That's for sure. Most of my music is just sad. I don't know. I hope you can see I'm not a sad person, but I think maybe it's because I'm able to get my sad feelings on music. I'm the same way. If I'm feeling sad, I'm going to listen to sad music. That's what I'm relating to, and that's what gets me through hard times is feeling sad, and being okay with sitting in that emotion, and feeling like someone else understands what I'm going through, and relates to me, and is sharing their story that is also parallel to mine. I hope my music can do that for some people.
Doug Burke:
I think it can be cathartic. There's a lot of sad songs. That's for sure.
Abby Brown:
Mm-hmm.
Doug Burke:
One of them is called Blue, which you wrote. I thought, "This is an advertisement for Prozac."
Doug Burke:
It's a song about a beautiful day, and yet, you just feel miserable.
Abby Brown:
Yeah, and I think everyone goes through this at some point in their life. I've never been diagnosed with depression or anything like that, but there are days where it's just hard to be a human, and it hurts. Even if it's a beautiful day, even if there are amazing things going on in your life, it still is hard and it's sad. For me, I was just having a bad day, a bad... Actually, a bad few days. I was just so sad, and I couldn't explain why. It wasn't that my whole life was falling apart per se. I mean, kind of. But at the same time, it was like I have a great life. I'm so privileged and lucky. It's that kind of feeling like, "Gosh, today, I just feel blue. I hope that people that love me understand that this isn't going to be forever, but love me through the bad times too because I'm trying to hope for a better tomorrow."
Doug Burke:
This line, "Everything happy is coated with something sad."
Abby Brown:
Yeah.
Doug Burke:
I think we all had those days where it's like no matter what, you can't see the happiness in life. It is when you need to take the Prozac, I think.
Abby Brown:
I haven't yet, but who knows? I might need them more these days.
Doug Burke:
So was there a moment when you wrote this? Do you remember the day?
Abby Brown:
Actually, yes, I do. My parents were out of town somewhere, and I was watching their dogs for them. It was a beautiful day outside. Absolutely beautiful. It was in the summertime. It was almost a year. So I think it was about July or August of last year. Maybe it was June. I don't even know the days and months. It's just stringed together now, but I just remember I was in such a funk. I hated it because I wanted to be productive that day. I wanted to do all this stuff and wanted to be happy. Don't we all? I needed to sit down and write it because that's... There was nothing else to do to get me out of my mood. Even then, sure, I wrote a cool song that I loved, but I was still... and I didn't even fully finish it. I guess that was another thing was like, "Gosh, I didn't even finish the freaking song." But yeah, it was a beautiful day out, and I just remember feeling really sad. I didn't have an explanation why, and then it just spilled out, and that's what came up from it.
Doug Burke:
I do think your chorus has an element of hope in it.
Abby Brown:
Yeah.
Doug Burke:
Which is nice to not be so down in the dumps.
Abby Brown:
Totally, and I think it's hard. Sometimes if you're really sad, you won't add anything happy into it, but that's the thing with being depressed or sad for no reason. Honestly, that's usually how it goes, or there's a reason, but you can't even remember why. You're just sad. I've always tried to tell myself like, "Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully it will be better." Sometimes it's not going to be, but all we can do is try and hope for a better tomorrow and wake up on the right side of the bed. Yeah. I think it's important, especially for someone who's listening who is really blue and sad, and giving them a little bit of hope that tomorrow will bring you something new. But today, it's okay to feel blue and people still love you. That's the message I wanted to send.
Doug Burke:
So Blue is not on your two EPs, is it?
Abby Brown:
No, it's definitely a newer song. So I want to put it out this year though.
Doug Burke:
Okay. So we'll hear that one on a Spotify playlist coming near you, which will be on our website at Back Story Song. Abby Brown with her two EPs, Gypsy Soul, Heart on Fire. I have to thank you so much for coming to Back Story Song to share your backstory, vision, inspiration, and creative processes. Is there anything you'd like to add?
Abby Brown:
I just want to say thank you, Doug. This has been really great, and I hope that people learned something or maybe related to something in their songwriting process or just in their music listening skills and understanding the backstory behind some of my stuff. I'd love to answer any questions. For anyone who has any, my Instagram stuff is going to be on the page, but Abby Brown Official is where you can find me on all social and my website, so. I just can't thank you enough, Doug.
Doug Burke:
Well, and we can't wait to see you on tour when the world starts touring again after this coronavirus quarantine. I'm so grateful to have you here. I'm grateful for the support of our sound engineer, Wyatt Schmidt, and our marketing manager, Cameron Grace. So thank you for listening to Back Story Song.
